That Table Had BETTER Be Warm

Today is pretty much just considered "keep Annie from thinking about the fact she has to go to the doctor this afternoon" day.  Because I am a great big pansy. Especially when it comes to doctors who will be examining my, um, "dainty bits."

I've been to the dainty bits doctor twice now (two different ones), and the first time I was so incredibly freaked out that she couldn't do the exam. The second time, I went to a woman who was obviously a masochist. She reduced me to tears on the exam table, and shrugged off my whimpering with a, "It doesn't hurt, you're imagining it." I almost don't feel bad for taking that involuntary kick at her head a few seconds after she made me scream out in pain.

I just keep telling myself that the first time was just my nerves and the second time was just a woman who obviously hated women. That it will be BETTER this time. I mean, it has to be better, right? It can't get WORSE. If it gets any worse, there's going to be an alien bursting through my chest while I'm on the table. It's just my nerves. If I take deep breaths and calm down I will be fine.

So, hypothetically speaking, where exactly does one buy horse tranquilizers? And, hypothetically of course, is it okay to drink, say, one of those great big bottles of vodka with it? Hypothetically.

Comments

[fairest]

I freaked out in a way like this the one time I got a pedicure.

[Whoorl]

when you start to get nervous, just think how lucky you are that you aren't getting a colonoscopy instead. :)

don't worry!

[dani]

lol, i don't know, i went for the first time a couple weeks ago... i'm so finding someone up north. the midwife was mean and treated me like i was an idiot. maybe it's just something with female midwife/obgyn people but i don't want to see a male doctor... *shrugs* if you find a good one, let me know.