Based on current behavior, another side effect is eating pepperoni right from the bag

Monday, I went to a specialist who gave me a flu shot, signed me up for physical therapy, and got me started on a pill the size of my fist. When I swallow it, you can watch the lump as it slides down my throat. This drug is used to treat:

• epilepsy
• neuropathic pain (a chronic pain due to nerves misfiring constantly)
• chronic migraines
• bipolar disorder
• anxiety
• social anxiety
• obsessive-compulsive disorder
• pain associated with MS (multiple sclerosis, not Microsoft, but I can see how you would get confused)
• treatment of methamphetamine, cocaine, and alcohol addiction
• insomnia
• that annoying paint that is flaking off the roof of your car but nowhere else on your car*
• partially-inflated basketballs*
• the ebola virus*

*I assume, anyway.

I'm going to leave you to guess amongst yourselves about which of these conditions I'm being treated for. (Hint: There is no way I'm giving up my crystal meth, so it's not for addiction treatment.)

The possible side effects include drowsiness, dizziness, unsteadiness, weight gain, and constipation as well as swelling of the limbs. LUCKILY, my doctor also put me on a higher dose of a medication I'm already on to treat my diabetes, and the side effects of that are diarrhea and weight loss. So here's hoping some thing cancel themselves out and I'm just left exhausted, dizzy, and clumsy with big puffy limbs. Keep your fingers crossed for me because mine will have swelled to the size of sausages.

Frankly, so far, the worst part of the visit has been the flu shot. I have that nasty post-flu shot cold and I keep babying my arm where they put the needle in. Now, I am not one to prone to dramatics, so you know that when I grab my arm and keen loudly that it hurts so bad, and the needle was three feet long, I am telling the truth.

Topics not related to my crappy health.

The IMAX theater at the Henry Ford is offering tickets for five dollars until November sixth, so Ryan and I are seeing a lot of shows there. One day soon, I will be brave enough to see the dinosaur one (THEY HAVE SUCH BIG TEETH).

My vacuum cleaner smells like parmesan cheese when I turn it on. I haven't vacuumed up parmesan cheese in three years.

I'm nearing in on a decision regarding grad school. Stay tuned for further updates.

Comments

[AnneS]

You poor child! You are having to handle one health problem after another. Gabapentin seems to be used for almost everything that has even a remote connection with the nervous system and there aren't many complaints about problems from it so perhaps it won't do anything weird to you.

I'm glad you've found a specialist, I hope he/she can refer you to someone to help manage the more mundane health problems you get.

Now would you please answer the question that everyone is dying to know about: What did Momo do when Wicket came home? 8-)