Day Five: My Favorite Five Jokes

I am kind of popular on Twitter. Because I'm under the weather today and because, let's face it, I laugh loudest at my own jokes, here are my five favorite jokes I've made on Twitter.

1. I had to act out "NPR" in charades the other day. So I pretended to listen to the radio, fall asleep, and drive off the road. #
2. For me, the real sign that Cap'n Crunch isn't an official maritime officer is that his eyebrows are on his hat. #
3. I just got a random gift of enormous, ugly candlesticks. Great, now I can kill Colonel Mustard in the conservatory. #
4. Sometimes, when I feel sad, I just stop feeding the cats until one or both of them pretends to like me for awhile. #
5. If you think threatening to pull down your pants in a store in order to get your way is something kids outgrow, I just proved you wrong. #

Comments

[Ethan]

I'd missed the first two, which just caused me to choke on my morning coffee. Thanks for that.

(@beep)